Monday, April 25, 2005

email me

hello guys

just to say if you guys wanna chat at all and if you feel like poo and need some help, i'm not saying i have the answers but please do email me sometime on it would be so cool if i/Jesus could help you in any way.
all my love

Monday, April 04, 2005


ok, i know its taken me a while, but i have finally realised how fully lame this blog thing is( sorry to those people who have one....yours is cool...its the writting on mine that makes it lame) i'm not saying i don't agree with what i've written - i do, its just the wrong place to put it, therefore making it lame.

anyway this will be my last blog, i may come back to it in a year or two, but for now its goodbye.

i would like to just briefly tell you about my last week in the hope that prayer may be recieved for those in serious need.

i went to an event aclled easter poeple which is for all ages however becky( my ministers daughter) and i were based at the function for 15-25 yr olds. it involved worship, seminars, sermons and outreach/mission. as we were working we could only go out on mission one afternoon, however that afternoon was a powerful one, i met so many young people with broken lives, and it was tough speaking to them, like really tough, and seriosuly scary these were people my age and younger, drunk and stoned in the middle of the afternoon. however with God as my strength i made some contact, well enough to make them come back in the evening which they did.

they made such a scene in this church they shouted swearwords, threw stuff around, yet God gave me this power that made then listen to me, which was great and after hanging around for a bit they left. some hardcore prayer is needed for that gang, they are so lost and are just screaming out for their saviour. 3 other girls that were their friends yet a bit younger - 13, 11 and 11. stayed. they were not as disruptive and listened to the talk, however swore at the bits they didn't liked and reapeatedly went out for "fag" (as they would call it) breaks. yes 11 yr olds addicted to smoking.....or addicted to thinking they looked cool.

i went out with them and told them how i didn't smoke. they liked me, so they put it out and went back inside. i showed them the prayer room (a room which had been set up with music and stuff for people to pray in) they walked in with ooo's and ahh's of cool. then asked how much it was to pray. so so sad to see girls like this. they wanted to go home after asking many questions ....good questions. so my friend emma and i drove them home.....their home was a flat. their parents were'nt home, they were at the pub. they had to climb in the window to get inside. then they decided to go down to the skate park for another "fag". we left them at their house/flat, yet with interested, happy hearts, that were suprised that people could like them even when they wern't looking cool. however we were people that only came in for the week and then left , the people they live with are ones were survival of the fittest comes in. guys are only gonna like you if you sleep with them. you are only gonna be cool if smoke weed and no matter what anyone says you never get something for nothing. thsi is theway they are living.

it broke my heart and emma and i both cried on the way back to the church praying inbertween the sobs for Gods protection on those little ones.

many others came into the church like that, and some were worse than jasmine, katie and sadie. the young 11 and 13 yr olds.

guys if i can just ask you to pray for them. cos wow they are lost and perhaps if theres a seed thats been planted or any sort of spark thats touched their hearts can we simply pray for it to grow.

ja so that week was intense. so so so good, as the worship was amazing and i was presented with many visions for so many broken souls. but ja by the end of it i was spiritually drained. now i'm back home and have to try and get back into normal life, after seeing such horiffic sights.

thats my last plea for you guys on my last post.

hope if you ever create a blog it is less lame then this one!

all my love

Sunday, March 20, 2005

being me.

wow, it really has been a while...for me to put down some thoughts and have 2 or 3 people read them....i'm shocked i don't write more often!HA! anyway, recently my minds been on my selfishness, my ego, my arogance, my materialism.... the list goes on and on... i own so much stuff to lthats meant to improve my looks and to make me feel better(eg clothes make-up, accesories)i've given into so many temptations of this world! and i so often ask myslef how is it possible to overcome the sin that so easily besets me?How can i be a living witness, an example of God? How can i maintain the spiritual glow that ought to be in the Christian? this answer is kinda obvious, yet i try and trick myself into thinking that theres no way i can not be of the world! what rubbish!!! its God that will strengthen me. God has power to make me stand. God will uphold me with His grace in days of spiritual darkness!!! RIDE ON!!

anyway, what i'm doing at the moment in my spiritual journey with BIG J is realising that i can grow in the knowledge of the mercy and love of God. i can become more substantial person with his glory. - i'm probably really late with realising this one and you guys were all like duuuuh , get with it meegs. but ja its never really sunk in fully...untill now.

its so so so so so (and another - so) tough to accept the way i am (dunno if thats just me) but i dunno why it should be. My growth in grace gives me weight in the kingdom of God- gives me substance- makes me a solid person under whose feet heaven's grass will bend.i'm gonna be a far better person this way, yet i still find it so difficult- why. In God's Kingdom, the only thing that matters is how true we are to being who God created us to be.
i want to develop an inner beauty. i think the way to do this is to live in a way that pleases God, that makes him go! Go meegs, thats my girl, i've been a good father! i need to live by seeking wisdom, practicing generosity, investing in relationships.....loving God.

so ja
cool. i'm me.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

A letter from Amy!!

Hello everyone! Hope you are all doing well in England. Sitting here on the corner of a busy street in Santo Domingo listening to the constant hooting I couldn´t feel further away from the life that now seems so mundane. (not that im saying it is of course!) Today is our day off so we made the 30 minute journey from Alluriquin into Santo on a very old and rickety bus. Timing isnt everything in Ecuador and we have all adjusted well. For those who know me this all suits me nicely...

The church we are working with are amazing. They have been supportive from the start and very understanding of our lack of spanish which is very fustrating at times. I wish i had a better grasp of spanish but Im getting there slowly one word at a time. The church is fairly small and therefore we are very noticable, not that we dont stick out a mile any way. At some of the smaller services we make up half of the congregation! In a week there are a minimum of 4 services so it can be hard to decide which ones to go to. Luckily Jon and I rarely disagree on that aspect and are just honest with Estevan the pastor. Wednesday was our first encounter. A prayer meeting where we were introduced, heard a sermon and then split up into twos (one spanish one english) to pray. My partner was a very vocal woman who spoke no english but was clearly very excited that we were there and wasnt at all put off by the fact that my spanish can´t extend any further than the basic Como estas. Turns out it was a very handy match as she owns the pharmacy in the villiage which is on our walk to the building site and loves to come and greet me with either an ice cream in hand or on one occasion a vitamin c tablet(?!)

Something we were warned about at orientation is the need to have songs/dramas/testimonies on hand. This has definately been the case for us as we have been made to do all three during each visit to the church. At first this seemed a little odd but we love it now! As a team we find ourselves singing quite a lot anyway even though I would say we arnt partically tunefull. Last night we had some neighbours come round who had obviously heard us practising the day before and asked us to sing. Even though none of them understood a word of it they all clapped along. It was a blessing for us actually as it was excellent having some contact with lacals other than the ones from the church. We did manage a football game on Sunday where anyone could join in. I would love to tell you that I had been the first one there kicking the ball through the mud... but i wasnt. None of the team have been terribly sick but there was a case of dehydration that day so I stayed behind with her. We find it very easy to drink when building as it is so humid and we all get thirsty.It is on the days when we arent working where we forget as it actually isnt that sunny most of the time. I can definately say that my waterproof jacket is the most handy thing i have bought with me! It rains everyday.

Right, now the building site. When we were showed the plans a couple of us started to giggle. I never thought that we could get any where near what they where proposing. Looking back now at how much we have done these past few days it doesnt seem so impossible. Everyone is working so hard even though the work is very strenuous. At the moment we are just digging foundations. When I say just I mean destroying the previous ones, carting the sand, rocks and concrete away, flattening the ground, digging 2 metre deep holes, removing boulders... You get the picture. I am so proud of every single person on my team. No one has shyed away from the hard work and they have all had a go at something. The spanish comunication is hilarious though. Yesterday (in true step building style) we were asked to move a pile of stones from one side of the site to the other. We all knew that where we were moving it too is where a hole will be dug but as our translator was away doing domestic duty my gestures and random spanish words werent enough to convince Manuel, the maestro (forman) that it wasnt a wise move. I look forward to tomorrw where the stones will probably be moved to their original position. We have had a lot of help from the locals including woman and children which surprised us. There is one woman who we all call Macho due to the rate she does things and her strength. It puts us all to shame the guys included.

A few more breif notes as time is swiftly running out and we have to catch the bus back to our little village. It will be nice to get away from the city and back to our palace. I would love to say it is nice and peaceful there but unfortunately its not. Our neighbours on both sides enjoy early morning drum and base it would seem as we are woken everymorning by the load thumping of latin music. As well as this the neighbours on the girls side have two children who cry. Alot. There is also a dog who we have decided must be infected with some version of mad dog disease. Not so quiet. Ocassionly very late at night we are able to hear the river a sound i will definately miss when we leave. Its so nice having the option of a swim after a long sweaty day building even if the ground is very slimy. Unfortunately i left my USB cable behind so no photos. There were a few sent with our team report and you can probably get more information about it all from that.

So ya that my life right now. We are still eating like kings as each domestic team (three per day on a rotation system so everyone get a chance at working with new ppl) strives to impress the rest of us. Not sure how long it will last. Cold showers have become the norm. Cockaroches are our new bedtime buddies, well not nessisarily buddies but we are getting use to their sudden appearance aswell as many other insects. A favorite being the ´Jonny bug´ a newly discoverd, massive, flying beetle that decided to join Jonny in bed on our first night then made the sound of a rattle snake. Neadless to say but the mear sound of it fills Jonny with fear. We are all getting along splendidly. At orientation we decided to keep a quote book which is filling up with lots of silly sentences that make us all laugh with out fail everytime we read them.

I know I have left out so much stuff but I just cant fit it all in! So much happens everyday.

if you wanna send Amy some post_ she will be very greatful- her address is:
Amy Walker
Equipo Step
C/O Orlando Castro
Casilla 17 - 24 - 351
Santo Domingo
de los Colorados

(THis address will be untill May, and then she will be moving on)

Friday, March 11, 2005

red nose day

comic relief!way! just a quick one. i think i've found my passion - i couldn't watch this clip without hating myself. make poverty history is linked with comic relief and money we give will also go towards those in the clip. would be great if you could donate...just a little makes a difference. let me know if you didn't feel a thing after watching that clip.
thankx guys.
p.s listen to this clip to get you more motivated. lets do it guys! bring it on!

Thursday, March 10, 2005


There are so few christians, as well as myself who really know what prevailing prayer is. it is not untill i had that complete desire, passion, yearning for all of Him that i only started discoving real prayer, and how "woah!!!" it is. i'm sure all of us would confess that we believe in prayer, yet how many of us truly believe and can comprehend in the power of, prayer? i dunno if i can. i think i jumped too far ahead and started criticising myself as a christian.i mean i've posted things about temptation i've givin into and like how i can do some much more to be a wittness and live my life for Christ. yes i think these are important, but most of the time what i need to come back to is the simple things like prayer for everything depends upon prayer.

Why are many Christians so often defeated? Because they pray so little. Why are many church-workers so often discouraged and disheartened? Because they pray so little. Why do most we see so few brought "out of darkness to light" by their ministry? Because they pray so little. Why are our churches not simply on fire for God? Because there is so little real prayer. these statements are bold, and perhaps subjective, yet i think they're true...dunno about you guys...comment...tell me.

The Lord Jesus is as anxious for men to be saved as ever before. His arm is not shortened that it cannot save: but He cannot stretch out His arm unless we pray more and more and more -- and more really.

There seems to be some mysterious power restraining the hand. Do we realise that there is like nothing the devil dreads so much as prayer?lets kick him don't with talking( thats my kind of fighting - i can't stop talking...or eating...anyway!!!) His great concern is to keep us from praying. Someone has wisely said, "Satan laughs at our toiling, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray." All this is so familiar to us -- but do we really pray? that was a tough question for me... is it for you guys too ( or am i just the loser who can't hack prayer?!)

Let us never forget that the greatest thing we can do for God or for like our buddies is to pray. For we can achive like far more by our prayers than by our work, and thats all i was concentrating on - not taht its not important but prayer is omnipotent, it can do anything that God can do! When we pray God like works. We all know how to pray, but perhaps we need to cry out with a desire, passion and yearning for God to teach us how to really do some hardcore prayer!

Thursday, March 03, 2005


I always thought guys with like an aura of arrogence around them were like way hot man. but my without relising, my mind has been completely changed. Whether its just because as i've got older my taste in guys has matured or if someone has put me off them, or people i've met have influenced my choice.....i don't know. what i do know is that cocky, arrogent, over confident boys really get my goat! i think this is due to the over powering amount of pride some people hold. As i've noticed guys around me with this ugly pride, i've looked to myself and notice some in me. whihc sucks.

Alot of the time i very much have a "me-first" self-pleasing attitude and i find myself with a heart which denies like God's authority to direct our lives and our crazy world.

There are two root sins, no i don't want to use that word, lets say instead wrong doings - one is pride and the other unbelief. Pride is evidenced by an attitude which is demanding and arrogant, denies its need for God, is unteachable, impatient, overly critical of others and hard hearted. How easy it is for any one of us to be infected with pride without realising it and i, so obviously have this pride deeply rooted in me and boy oh boy am i ready to get rid of it!

Whatever you gain by compromise you will eventually lose. we must be fully uncomprimising people! like properlly. we must not give into our pride...talking to myself now! Every lonely attempt to overcome this selfish pride by willpower, resolutions and self-discipline alone WILL fail. No attempts without God as our centre with succeed.

What does your mind dwell on? What do you choose to set it on? To overcome how selfish we are and how we put ourselves...or should i say myslef before others, we must have a deliberate policy to set your mind on the things of the spirit- if that makes any sense. We can't avoid yukkie thoughts by seeking to avoid them. We must instead actively seek to set our minds on the things of the Spirit. To illustrate this point, try hard to avoid thinking of the word "frog" for the next 5 minutes. You'll find it harder now, but it would have been so easy had you not even tried.

Your mind is influenced - either by the spirit of the world, or by the Spirit of God. The world gives us an impression that look after number 1(oursleves) and then we'll all be fine. God wants us to renew our minds through full devotion on the Word of God. The peace and happiness we are wanting does not come through the satisfaction of pride and arrogence of ourselves that Satan invites us to go after. Rather it comes by focussing our hearts and minds on Jesus and the things of the Spirit. i think i say that alot, but maybe thats cos i think or even know that its true and right.

so ja my basic point is that pride and arrogence is ugly, and our minds/ thoughts/ emotions should be focused our jesus. not oursleves, hes far far cooler than we can ever be.

also you know my public speaking... well i won best speaker!! suprising i know! way 2 cool 4 school!(i'm not arrogent - promise!)

Friday, February 25, 2005

not enough

today ok, i was chatting with this guy about stuff, life, future etc. we got onto the topic of heaven and hell. this guy as well as many other ppl i have talked to in the past belived that you could be saved and go to heaven in you do good deeds on earth and are a good, loving person. you do not need to believe in God. found out this was called "legalism" (that one can be saved by doing good works.) i also later found my R.S teacher teaching our class, that in the bible it says one can get into heaven by doing good deeds. this effectivly had the class thinking great cool man, i'm going to heaven, thats ace. God - whose he? so ja i'm not exactly gonna like jump up and stand on my chair and scream "no your all going to hell" but in a situation like this what do you do......

i believe and maintain that people are justified by faith apart from good deeds. There is nothing that we can do to earn salvation. Good deeds flow out of one's faith. Obedience to God is a result of a person's love for God, it is not an effort to earn salvation. so to these people, how do you say in one of those loving, sensitive, christian ways that a faith of God has to be present, God deeds only doesn't cut it. what do you do?

also i've got a public speaking topic its " santa claus is a justifiable deception" will post the speech on here when i finsihed it, cos use your comments. thankx guys.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


If everyone else was like me, ... I still wouldn't understand them or their motives.HA! Fortunately, most people that I have met, actually, everyone that I have met has been different from me in some way or another, weird that! More often than not, when I was younger, (like last week) it frustrated me. I was often misunderstood, not respected for what I valued nor for my skills, nor did they really listen. Yes, they treated me much like I was treating them. It was very lonely. Once I realized how important it is to understand people, and even more importantly in my case, that I needed guidance from someone who understood, and became willing to accept that help, wow!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


Ok when your(i'm) at my most vulnerable point, i try to make people think that nahh i'm so cool right now, everything is going smoothly and i think lots of us live in a society madly trying to convince everyone as well as ourselves that everything is cool. Fine. A-Ok. All you need is Coke, hot shoes, the right look, a girl or guy and the occasional pass in exams (or job promotion) and you're set.

But what we need to realise is that everything is not cool, especially if what Jesus said is true.

The basic problem is that we - meaning human beings in general - have all ignored the creator of the universe and rebelled against him. and no matter how much i surrender all of myself to him alot of the time i'm not gonna like what hes telling me what to do, and so sometiems, even though i afraid to admit it, i sometimes don't take any notice of him or just outright disobey him. As a result, i am guilty before him and cut off from having a friendship with him untill i can suck it up and realise what a loser i've been to my friend, father, creater, saviour, the one i live for( ja the one i just blatantly disobeyed!shocker!) and by this my faith has not grown, my spirit is tainted, not pure, and i end up in that kind of sucky place that i don't wanna be...i wanna be there with THERE. that's pretty bad news, I know, i try seriously hard, and to admit to myself that alot of the time i'm selfish and disobedient, its tough! I mean how do you pleasantly explain to a surfer that there's a three metre white pointer shark coming his way? its not like actually possible!

Gods like the pooh( i always wanted to use that word....does it even make sense in this context???)hes like the man basically, and in our own different ways, we all resist him and his authority. We don't obey his guidelines and we don't thank him and respect him for who he is. The consequences of this need to be looked at head on.

Jesus explained that one day everyone will be judged for what they have or haven't done. oh my foot thats scary man!! to me it is...does that mean that i've been an unworthy christian cos i think its scary?? lots of people say that by constantly being reminded of this judgement its counted to be 'scare tactics' But if you warn a surfer about a three metre shark, is that scare tactics?

ok carrying on from yesterday... i don't really understand what i was trying to say, i think i started to make up rubbish in my tiredness. i think the point was/is that my heart feels heavy with the weight of all my mistakes. i regret all those moments in time where instead of increasing my awesome relationship with God, i was...trying to look cool infront of all those hot guys, or bitching about that girl because she laughed at my shoes(and cos i was kinda threatened by her), or even when i just didn't do anything - when i knew what God was asking me to do and i just stayed were i was cos "i couldn't be bothered". and boy oh boy does it hurt now! and i know that there really is nothing i can give to Him that can compare to what he has given to me ( sounds really corny but is so true) but those small things that i could or could not have done would have been a start to feeling a little worthy...cos right, like big WOW i'm unworthy...and my hearts still heavy.

also i have a public speaking topic compitition coming up and need some hot ideas on what to speak about, i don't really want anything to heavy, and i think i want something no one has done before...i dunno any ideas would be greatly appriciated.
thanks guys
love meegan

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


check out this... also if you look at the bottom of the sidebar you can see home much money is spent of the war in Iraq, shocking hey.

Sunday, February 13, 2005


after jumping out the car after mum picked me up from marlborough, i felt my pocket vibrate, signaling "1 message recieved"( i know its doesn't happen very often) i walked inside our warm, homely, pretty house, went up stairs into my own room, put some music on my own cd player, went down stairs made myself a cup of tea and flicked through some channels on tv.......
your probably now like so, who cares, what a useless paragraph you just wrote! but like wow hey, i'm so lucky( if luck exsists, which i don't think it does, but lets pretend it does just for now) but like is it luckly? is it luckly that consumerism has basically taken over my life, not only my life but it is the dominant force in society. the, like, significance of people is now kinda defined by what they have, what they own. Our possessions have possessed us! we move so quickly from "how do you do?", to "what do you do?" or "what does your father do?"! shocking how shallow i am! but ja ok as christians we like realise how amazingly blessed we are and have the opertunity to be thankful for it. the question is can we be ,like, comsumer christians?( if you get what i mean?)

people who are christians because it makes life easier, and who are part of a church because it fits. should it be about working for us and an easier life? ok so when life goes kinda poo for a bit and God doesn't seem to like 'work' or when God asks us to do something tough, or our church makes us do something we don't like, or even, could it be (gasp!) sing music we hate, what happens then? hey? or is there something more to it? i dunno, do you guys?

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Struggling with sin!

ok ok, I've guys have waited and still not one of these sisters have decided to post!!whats going on this blog thing was not even my idea!

So no matter how lame or corny or stupid i sound, i'm gonna write some stuff about the way i'm feeling of what i'm called to write, and people who don't like it't read it! it's about me/us/you struggling with sin, it's a phrase that is used rather lightly in many religious circles, with our holy language we use. ok so when i think of the word struggle i think of it meaning to "fight for what seems out of reach"or "strive not to give in". It doesn't mean that the one who is struggling is on the losing side of the struggle. but like many "Christians" when they say that they are struggling with sin they mean that they are committing sin/sins even while trying not to. They mean that they have struggled and then they were defeated by sin, ja i know DEAFEATED BY SIN! And so perhaps the word "defeated" rather than "struggling" more accurately describes these people (cough) me(cough). Sadly, many people accept such "struggling" (actually defeat) as a way of life. giving in to temptation.

So many young christian guys who say that they "struggle with" lust and like sex basically, not giving into that overwelming temptation that society has pasted everywhere you look. Actually, they mean that they fight against it a little bit, but end up giving in to their lusts. They claim that they are trying not to sin. ok please don't get angry with me now, i know i'm an active "struggler" aswell, i'm just pointing out how difficult it is. in reality these guys watch commercials that promotes lust; they watch movies and television programs that encourages lust; and they listen to music that contains all sorts of sexual lyrics. Can they actually say that they are trying to overcome lust? Will God believe them when they say that they tried?

I'm not saying that a Christian will have no struggles with temptation(i'm a perfect example!).I'm saying that when a Christian is tempted, we must make sure that we are fully submitted to God and resist the temptation; the devil will then run away..YAY!!. am i saying that we mustovercome every temptation?is that even possible?i don't know, thats my answer, i don't know. but i know that we are promised that no temptation will be too difficult for us because God himself will make a way for us to stand up under every temptation. But don't believe the lie that because you struggle you are IN sin. It is not true. Struggling against sin does not mean that you are displeasing God. Struggling against sin is one of the main evidences that you hate sin!! So, struggle and be victorious through the glorious power of our great and mighty God....well at least try....Hem!!! YAY!!

guess what?...yesyou guessed it....MEEGAN!!!

Monday, February 07, 2005


ja!! thats right! i agree with the Anonymous commenter!!Where are you sisters!!?? i know you guys read this so come on post something sometime! i'm looking like a complete fool here as this blogs called THREE and the add is WALKERGIRLS!!
go for it...please

Saturday, February 05, 2005

do it!

Oh my hat, ok, yesterday, spur of the moment thing, i decided to give blood, so at lunchtime walked into the the little village of lavington...although theres not really much there, it seemed to attract many blood donors. it was all set up in the hall , and, as it was my first time, i was pretty cool about it as didn't really know what to expect. After reading the beginners manual descovered the real truth....for those who are/were as ignorant as myself, they take a PINT of you blood!! yes thats right, a PINT!!so that therefore means the are taking 1/10 of your bodies blood! hectic or what! the news made me slightly more nervous, however i'm seriously hardcore and could handle it.

after the tiny prick of the finger to test if my blood is A-OK i was ready to give my blood wahoo!! so ja they got the fat needle stuck in it my arm blah blah blah etc etc etc. but the lady was like, oh dear its coming out so slowly whats going on? i was like oh poo, there's something wrong with my blood, or it just loves me too much to leave my body!! she checked out the needle again and was like oh ja oops we went straight through the vein and out the outside, oops sorry! sorry my foot!! so 7 jabs at the same and different veins later they finally managed to get what they wanted! they then handed me a brochure about bruising and said i might be left with a one...

my arm is now like blue and still sensitive to touch!! All for Jesus hey.....they'll see me next time...and i'll be there ready for the pain!!

ja sorry guys please don't let that put you off donating blood!! seriously its worth it...sorry

love meegan

Friday, February 04, 2005


To speak helpfully about love is as challenging as speaking about repentance. Everyone in the world praises love, and sings about love( i mean see how many songs you can name that are about "love"), and acknowledges that love is the most important grace of all, and we are never going to deny that. To say all that freshly, and from the teaching of Jesus Christ, is the challenge of this moment so that these cold hearts of ours are quickened in love. What a massive need for us all hey? Too much selfishness exists in all our lives, and love is the greatest of all.

I am not saying that it's love rather than the truth that we need. God has given to us of himself in his Son Jesus Christ who has told us everything that his Father has given him to say to the world. i think thats seriously cool hey? You shall know the truth by searching WITH God, and embracing that truth can make you free. But more than truth is needed. The devil himself believes many great truths about God, but there is no love at all within Satan.

Jesus said that hes given us a new commandent and that is to love...not the fish sign you may stick on your car, not the cross you wear around your neck, not the T-shirt with a text on the back, not the WWJD braclets around our wrists, not flashing around the old bible, that looks used...none of these can be the marks showing that we are religious folks. But in all times and in all places the mark of a follower of the Lord Jesus is his love.

Everyone is joined to Christ and of his fulness they receive.Everyone is indwelt by the Spirit of love.

now all of my love to you

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

My heart.

A quiet heart is content with what God gives. It is enough. All is grace. This morning the annoying school computer simply would not obey me and was taking soooooo long. What a nuisance. I had my work laid out, my timing figured, my mind all set..... My work was delayed, my timing thrown off, my thinking interrupted and i got in trouble with my teacher! Then I remembered. It was not for nothing. This was part of the Plan (not mine, His). "Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup."

Now if the interruption had been like a human being or something instead of an silly mechanism, it would not have been so hard to see it as the most important part of the work of the day. But all is under my Father's control..... yes, disobedient computers, clocks that stop working the night before the morning you have to be up early, drawbridges which happen to be up when i'm in a hurry(and Amy's already made us late by taking her time!!) My portion. My cup. My lot is secure. My heart can be at peace. My Father is in charge. How simple!

Our enemy delights in disquieting doesn't it. Our Savior and Helper delights in quieting us. "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you" is His promise (Isaiah. 66:13). The choice is ours. It depends on our willingness to see everything in God, receive all from His hand, accept with gratitude just the portion and the cup He offers. Shall I charge Him with a mistake in His measurements? Has He misplaced me? Is He ignorant of things or people which, in my view, hinder my doing His will?

ok, so like, God came down and lived in this same world as all us guys. He showed us how to live in this world, that we might be changed-not into an angel or a storybook princess(no matter how cool that would be!!), not like wafted into another crazy world, but changed into saints in this world. The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.

...Meegan....again!!(i'm not a loser..i promise!!)

Sunday, January 30, 2005

who we are.

Ok like seriously who are we? like properlly, cos i couldn't sum me up in like a sentance. no way. So( as i'm so holy) this is when i turn to Big J!!(ja thats Jesus)and within jesus i look at worship. How it's simply just realising who God is. In turn we realise who we are in him.

We live in a fallen world where our dislocation from God and failure to acknowledge who he is mars who we really are.In the words of Vicky Beeching's song "if we don't worship you we'll search for substitutes to fill the void in our soul.Worshipping other things destroys our liberty."

When girls(or boys) have loads of boyfriends(or girlfriends) and depend of the attention from them for security( i am also guilty of this) We lose sight of God for who he is, and, as a result lose the source of our identity, security, love and well-being. Perhaps this emptiness and insecurity is what feeds ones long string of different guys.

As we understand who God is and how far he has travelled to meet with us, and allow that reality to dwell deeply within us, we find that worship, adoration and gratitude permeates our lives in a deeper way. we are more secure.

We know WHO we are because we know WHOSE we are.

i think thats cool.

Friday, January 28, 2005

a little lighter

I seem to be complaining about lots... you guys must be thinking, what i depressing blog, lighten up! Ok well in this broken world, i saw some light today. At school (yes i know, still at school, i'm very little hahhahah, lets all laugh) we are raising money for the Tsunami victims ( SUPRISE SUPRISE!). There is a mini park sort of thing called "The Quad". What was suggested was that the whole school would take part in collecting coppers and making a long chain of them on the ground around the whole Quad. i assumed that many would forget, that the turn out would be low, sure people care, but not enough to ACTUALLY make much of an effort. i mean its collecting money for people they have never seen, in a country most of them will never visit.

Anyway...i was wrong(again)we made a chain round the whole Quad(it's quite big) and had more money left over! Loads of people were there putting down their contributions....i even saw some pound coins people placed down. so ja!! how cool! Praise the Lord!

all my love kisses and blessings

Thursday, January 27, 2005



Thanks guys for your comments, they're all ace. Did some serious thinking about this topic of trust as it was really playing on my mind, and when i wrote that last post i was really angry and it was just all coming out. but ja was praying about it and felt God just being like...YO MEEGS ( as he does) you are here for a reason,be content in this place of suffering i have put you in, nothing i do does not have a purpose.... i don't think he was saying that he wanted me to be hurt, sad and distresed, but he made me aware of this trust issue by showing me how hurt one can feel when their trust is abused. i think he was kinda like saying in that pain i feel, use His strength and learn from this situation.

He's so the man

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


Had a horrible day. Ok we are all imperfect right?In every aspect of our lives there is not one thing that cannot be improved?Every one of our characteristics have faults, even ones that are tuned to todays needs. Trust is one of my massive faults. i feel everytime i finally let myself trust someone, i get messed around and are immediately let down. Then i am felt hurt, used and abused. i promise myself to never trust anyone again, but sure enough, i seem to go through the whole cycle again!

You're probably thinking this is only about guys.....ok most of the time it is. but for me its also the trust with girls. i think its hard to let go, let all your boundries down and completely trust someone. Is this something that people should do, is it an act that to gain happiness has to be done?Coz if not, it would be ace to just live through life not having to trust anyone.

This also makes me look at myself being trusted by others and how important it is for me not to abuse it. knowing that someone needs me is like a sacred gift, i thrive off of being a someone to lean on to someone helpless, or even someone strong, cos when they do fall, its gonna be a harder hit.

ok i don't really even know what i'm talking about. but people who read this, i know there are many wise ones that can really help me out here. really just wnat your help ( is this me trusting you guys?) how, when and should i trust anyone...ever?
help please.

i'm such a loser i know. i just feel so anrgy sometimes. ( for those who watched the new series of the OC last night - i feel like Marissa as she threw the garden furniture into the pool....i wanna scream like that!)

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Unfolding into his coolness...

I find when i'm seriously shattered, so tired i feel my eyelids heavy, drooping and start to get itchy and sore, i find thats when i do my serious thinking, were my mind drifts in and out of reality and ideas and thoughts are zooming all over the place.

This is when i started to contemplate on temptation and the disguised sins the world hands to us, which look like they will produce happiness for ourselves as well as others. i realised, we can't stop temptation coming our way, but once we start to turn it over in our imagination we're sinning. This is something know by all before yet applying it to my own life i realised how full i was of this imaginational sin. The only way to overcome this is to take care to submit the eyes of our heart to God - not just open them to whatever might be out there. The enemy wants to hijack everythig our loving creator planned for good.

It's obvious that no one likes to be in pain, this is mostly what temptation leads to. Nobody likes to be broken. its not pleasant. However the like most powerful army like ever on earth is full of ace people who live on the edge for Christ and who are not afraid to embrace brokeness. Thats like awesome. i was just thinking how i wanna be one of those people - i'm not saying its fun to be in that stage of life, but if you are in complete and utter pain, how amazing, challenging and admirable would it/could it be to embrace that brokeness! In my mind i found myself just assuming that the only people that are this awesome are these great massive heroes who are full-on and hardcore! but as my thoughts searched deeper i was like woah, hold on, instead of seeing heroes on the front line, i see broken saints who are simply willing to sacrifice everything, even like themselves, in order to see Jesus made known.

Maybe God will move me and change me, because Hes looking for people who will embrace pain, embrace cost and rely for all i need on his love and provision alone.maybe.


P.S found this quote and thought it was quite relevent and very cool.

" When circumstances seem impossible, when all signs of grace in you seem at their lowest ebb, when temptation is at its fiercest, when love and joy and hope seem well-nigh extinguished in your heart, then rest, without feeling and without emotion, in the Father's faithfulness."

D. Tryon

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Sisterly Love


Ok corny as this may sound, i am so blessed to have the coolest sisters in the world, sure they're hotter than me so they're gonna steal all my boyfriends....if i ever get any...ever, but if it makes them happier, i'll GIVE my boyfriends too them! Even though we're all at completly different stages of life, even different countries in the world, we still seem to have that hectically cool bond.(really hope you guys(Gemma and Amy) are feeling this too and will back me up...i'm gonna sound seriously lame then)the thing is they're like more than sisters, they're hardcore best friends!

They're the kind of friends who in any situation will make you laugh. The kind who know exactly what your thinking before you even say it. Who know when you like a guy before you know you like him yourself! They're Ace!

So ja. nice one girlies i think you guys have done a good job at being sisters!shot!

all my love

Monday, January 17, 2005

Tough stuff.

Yo peeps!

Quite a hectic weekend! i found out on thursay i was taking a module on monday, but Jesus has been great and keeping me calm, when i've felt seriously weak at the knees!i've done so much in so few days, and for that i give all the glory to Jesus. i've been super stressed about this year, so i'm sure i've been a nightmare to live with - my poor, wonderful family! shame!i'm also so lucky for all those people who have been so great with me. they've put me in my place yet do it in such a symapthetic way, it may have not seemed like a massive deal to them but it made a big impact and has/will affect the way i live.

Also guys i'm extra sorry about how dull my posts are, when i have exciting news it will be up here, but, ja, massive apologises to how slow they are!oh and another also, stumbled apon this "So, I'm going to live the life, and follow Jesus with all my heart, because it does matter, and it's the only thing that truly does.... I'm going to spend time with Him, my father, my lover, my teacher, my maker, and let him speak to my heart, because those are the only words that can possibly give me the life in need on the journey through this earth." guess who wrote that quote??!! isn't that cool though! i think just that little bit there basically sums up what every hardcore christian wants! they want a completly devoted life, i know i do (see i'm a wanna be hardcore christian!! i try really hard and i don't think thats the point!!)the thing is though, it seems to be the toughest, yet at the same time the easiest thing to do. its like playing the bass guitar( i don't play!) but apparently its really easy to play, but seriously hard to get good at it. its pretty basic to be like 'listen Lord i love you, believe in and need you', but as soon as those words start become a reality and that massive, thick, bold line jumps out at you and one side is just knowing hes there and the other is the part where one fully surenders themselves to God, thats when that tiny bit of 'ahhhh' doubt shoots from your toes to your ears(well with me it does) and you kinda think, but i like being in control....

i dunno, that quote spoke to me though. sometimes i find it hard to let go.
ok cool
so long.

Saturday, January 15, 2005


What a friend i've found closer than a brother...with all this friend stuff going on its so comforting to know that i have THE coolest, most loyal, and loving friend anyone could ever have! He's such a dude!!

Friday, January 14, 2005

Transformed for Truth

So went to this CU today and went in with a negitive attitude, thinking oh my foot this is gonna be so lame there's gonna be like 3 ppl there including the teacher, help me now...remind me what i'm doing this for. perhaps i was so pesimistic becuase i'd been influenced by what the guys were saying about it, maybe it was because of previous experience i've had with CU, i dunno just was feeling a bit 'blah' about it. anyway i got to "the upper room" (the little room its in) and theres always that split second before you walk into a room knowing there are people in there and once your in, theres no turning back, where you kinda, just a little, feel a little aprehensive. however pushed that feeling to the back of my tummy, i walked in, head high, massive grin and my humbling posture. What faced me was 4 times the amount i assumed and more came!

Unsupprisingly it turned out brilliantly, made some ace friends and that small 30min session really was exactly what i needed after a hectic week of meeting new people and an overload of work (which i should actually be doing now) i think i kinda got sucked in and forgot about my quite times with my Father. The sermon oddly enough was out of James and about not being of the world for if you are of the world you are an enemy of God. This spoke to my heart as over this past week the pressures of first impressions were massive and after that little bible study in a tiny room in the middle of west lavington in wiltshire, i felt like i could forget about the whole pressure thing and just hand it all over to God. As it says in 1 peter " Throw all your worries on him, for he cares for you " and right now that has to be the most reassuring thing i could of heard.
BIG Love Meegan

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Those odd feelings

Do you ever have that feeling of real excitment, its the same feeling you get when something you've been waiting forever for is tomorrow. Well i seem to constantly be feeling that feeling like the thing i've been waiting for has finally arrived, yet i haven't really been looking forward to anything, and nothing thrilling, massive or hectic has really happened. Do others experience this odd feeling or is it just me....?
hey i won the soul survivor CD!! how cool!!! i can't even remember entering, but my good friend Liam kindly advised me that i had won!! how cool! and sure enough this morning in the post i got an awesome memory of the summer days!( you must be thinking, oh my satchel! if this is what gets her excited how dull is her life) but i assure you(not that you care, if anyone actually reads this) my life is full of amazing heated action and to get it all typed out would take a lifetime...yes...just to write one day!

maybe that exciting feeling stirring inside of me is God telling me to be prepared for something ace! i really hope so! that would be cool....

Monday, January 10, 2005


ok so its been like apsolute ages since our last blog...sorry about that, not that anyone actually knows it exsists and if they did/do they are probably so over it as it hasen't changed for the past like 34 years! anyway, so the three of us as well as the parentals(unfortunatly) went to the gorgeous country of south africa, which i am absolutly in love with...seriously cannot get enough of that place, i definatly have SA blood inside of me!!!we had a brilliant month baking in the sun, meeting new and exciting people as well as catching up with the trustworthy, loyal, familiar buddies!returning back to England proved very difficult as the more fun i had in south africa, the less i wanted to return and the harder it was to come back!

i think i may attempt to give you a briefing of our stay in sunny SA. we arrived in jo'burg after a short detour to madrid for a few days. the weather was a little grey and we were not impressed, yet happy to be back home where the sun seemed to be shinning even with poo weather! we stayed over in the midlands and drove down to durban, kloof - where we grew up - and that intense, full on, hard core heat was now up close! i loved it! we stayed in durban for a few days and had a few little parties which included all those lovely family friends who are so kindly interested in your life except, seem to ask you the same questions over and over again and my rehearsed anwser started to get a bit tedius.

it was so good to see everybody again and soon enough, after a few hours didn't even feel like i had left.....but i had. We then flew to cape town where we were greeted by our aunt and cousin. we stayed with them for a couple of days where we went to boulders beach and sun tanned on the rocks amoung the penguins!

Boulders beach

Then stayed in a stunning lodge looking over a dam with a variety of activities for us to get involved in!here we spent christams, where the whole familiy(including becky, gemmas lovely friend who came along for the ride) feasted on glorious foods on that hot summers day. by the afternoon we were all in the dam with our new christmas pressi's, a variety of animal tubes( personal i feel the crab beat the dog and turtle!)

chrsitmas pressi's!

After that fulfilled familiy week, we flew back to durban were many new friends were made through awesome old ones! the relaxed atmosphere as well as friendly happy faces all contributed to how suprisingly easy it was to develop good solid relationships with those who were only met literally minutes ago!

the family

i picked some strong heathy slang as well, i feel its the collest slang ever and should be used world wise, so come on ppl, lets spread it! words like "hundreds" is used, meaning sure, brilliant, thats fine etc., one of my favourites has to be "HEM" or "cajolling" both with the same meaning of joking sort of or pulling your leg! there is si much more and i feel the trip home was emotional and had a 26 hour journey to think what i was coming back to.

the trip was awesome and i learnt so much from so many about things that i look for grantage. althou its seriously tough, i've always got to remember that there is a purpose to my calling to England and in my weakness and vunrability, i have no option but to use Gods strength and thats when the true miracles happen! ok i think thats the briefest i could have got it! hopefully the next post...when it eventually comes....will not be as factual, and may be slightly more entertaining....actually if your looking for an awesome blog with gorgeously written posts you should check out john''s hot!
ja cool

peace out

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

blog popularity

i really wonder what makes one blog successful and another not, i had another blog, with the same layout pretty much everything the same, and was writting my thoughts more than i did on this one and the reaction i got was amazing on one post i got 17 comments, people seem to twist what you say so much and take it personally. i dunno maybe i was saying something harsh and being insensitive, i just wonder what made that blog so poular and this one not?

Wednesday, October 20, 2004


"shout aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet!" Isaiah 58:1

The depth of suffering and need in our world is vast. it is easy to become, in the words of the Canadian singer Brice Cockburn, 'paralysed in face of it all.' We stand in the face of an ocean of need and wonder what difference our small splash could possibly make.
For many of us, th paralysis becomes permanent and we sink into inaction, pursuing a Christian faith that has a lot to do with the real needs of those who suffer.
But Isaish, at the very outset of his Manifesto for revial offers us hope. Even if you can't do very much, you can shout, he says. You have a voice: you can raise it. And every voice, no matter how insignificant, acn become in the hands of God a rallying cry. For the hewbrews, a public trumpetcall was the equivalent of an air-raid siren-it stopped people in their tracks.

USE YOUR VOICE, Isaiah says. Change begins when you say what you see!

To use your voice for Gods glory check out the following websites: